Objection to Acceptance?

April 23, 2016

Tatoos; not a fan.  While I must admit, some tatoos are beautiful pieces of art, I generally do not like the idea.  My daughter has a college friend, a beautiful young woman, who has at least one 'sleeve' and other tatoos of vibrant colors and intricate designs.  I know each tat has a story and symbolism; telling her 'story', but I can't help but wonder if she will ever regret the ink when she is my age.

Coby, our daughter, got her first tatoo a few years ago, after she had left home and was self-sufficient.  It is a nice Celtic knot on the top of her foot.  She held her ground when I made comments about permance and a rather nasty comment about branding herself like livestock. When my parents first saw the Celtic knot, and reacted much more calmly than either of us anticipated, Coby explained that the Celtic knot represented for her the Holy Trinity and the bond she has with her two brothers.  My dad was accepting, not encouraging, but accepting.  He teased her about it, but that was it.

After my dad died, our kids discussed the idea of having a tatoo designed to honor their grandfather.  I had sternly laid out the rule of "No tatoos until you don't need my info for college financial aid applications", and I was not asked to lift this edict for our youngest who is attending UCM in Warrensburg, Missouri.  Yet, the more the kids talked about it and tossed about some differnt designs and the placement options, I lifted the 'ban'.  Mark, the oldest son, nailed down the design, but decided he was not committed to a tatoo.

Last evening, Coby, and her youngest brother, Jerimiah, made that committment and acquired a tatoo to honor and remember their grandfather.  They chose a representation of the Timber Rock brand, originally designed by dad when our family established the family cattle business, Timber Rock Ranch.

I must admit the tatoo artist did an excellent job, and the tatoos looks just like our family brand.  I like them.  Perhaps the circumstance has softened my originally firm objection. Maybe I have 'mellowed' some over the last four or five years.  I am still not a fan, overall, of tatoos, but these two are adults and have a right to make their own decisions. The permance of a tatoo is probably my strongest objection; I am not sure.

I do admire Coby and Jerimiah for holding firm to their decision to honor their grandfather.  I also am proud of Mark for standing by his decision not to participate.  As close as my kids are, they each stay true to their individual paths.

Would my dad be pleased? I honestly do not know how he would react.  He loved his grandchildren and respected their opinions. I think it was a brave, bold, probably somewhat painful, and respectful gesture that will make their bond even stronger.  In later years, it will make a great beer drinking story!

Tatoos; not sure if I'm a fan...

A Sixty Year Journey

April 16th, 2016

My parents, Madeleine and Kirk Hartnett shared an amazing journey for 60 years,  It began at a 'mixer', de la Salle Academy and Notre Dame de Sion had a school dance.  De la Salle was a military Catholic high school, and Notre Dame de Sion was a Catholic convent school. A school dance; a true love story began.

Kirk met Madeleine at the mixer, the evening went well, and he asked her to his school formal the next week.  As family tradition tells the story, the formal was a success and Kirk returned home and announced he had met the woman he was going to marry!

There was mom's business, MLZ Enterprizes, dad's stint at Kings Point in New York, mom's freshman year at the university, and a wedding on Thanksgiving morning 56 years ago.  The newlyweds moved to Atchison, Kansas where dad attended Benedictine College and they both ran the local drive-in picture show.  Oh the stories Daddy would tell about dollar-a-carload night!

The Hartnett's returned to Kansas City, living in Prairie Village. I arrived. Dad worked on the Kansas City Board of Trade and Mom worked for her family's business, Zahner Diaper Service.  My brother Jake arrived, and the young Hartnetts moved to Fredonia, Kansas.

Kirk had a beautiful house built behind St. Margaret's Hodpital, and life was good.  At one point, my folks enjoyed an inheritance and pondered buying a boat or buying horses.  The horses won out.  That was the beginning of an adveture that became the family business that exists today; Timber Rock Ranch.

A sixty acres parcel of property was purchased. A 75 year old farm house was refurbished. The Hinthorne homestead was purchased and Santa Gertrudis Herford cross cattle were the stock of choice.  Another 140 acres was purchased, and the ranch became a lifestyle.

Kirk worked 35 years for ADM in Fredonia, and Madeleine managed the daily running of the ranch; haying the cattle, cutting ice when necessary, repairing water gaps, and overseeing the books of the business, The two raised their children, made wonderful friends, and instilled a great love of family in my brother and me.

After my brother and I had become adults, and moved from home, the cattle business was dissolved and property was sold.  Kirk pursued another interest; law enforcement.  Shortly there afterwards, Madeleine also went to work for the Wilson County Sheriff's Office.  Riding horses wasn't done often, but they bought a boat.

Grandchildren arrived on the scene and great memories were made aboard the Rainmaker II! Retrement came to visit, and then they both went back to work when a new sheriff was elected.  A grandchild followed in the law enforcement footsteps, and grandsons came to "help out" during summer breaks from college.  There were minor surgeries, a broken wrist, major surgeries, new cattle purchased, a serious addiction to archery, trips to Fulton, Missouri for grandchildren's graduations and theatre productions, and life marched on.

Retirement, once again from law enforcement was the advent of the 'golden years', but Kirk's and Madeleine's journey took a differnt turn than they had anticipated.  Poor health and a broken hip tied dad close to home, and mom was beside him, helping, encouraging, pushing, and praying.  The years had not always been easy, but the two of them were partners and journeyed forth with the knowledge they could face anything together.

This last November Kirk and Madeliene celebrated their 56th anniversary.  Their kids and grandkids all convened on the homestead to celebrate, and the weekend was wonderful.  Dad's health was failing and he was facing an uphill battle with cancer, but spirits were high and everyone enjoyed the holiday.

Photo by Alexandra Stoysich

Ten days later, Kirk was gone.  The beautiful journey of 60 years had taken another unexpected and unwelcome turn.  He may be gone, but the love my parents shared is still very much alive in the memories and the smiles of his family.  His son continues to manage Timber Rock Ranch.  His granddaughter continues in the family tradition to "protect and serve". His grandsons live each day in the knowledge that hard work has great rewards. Madeleine continues onward, completing 'projects' the two of them had planned to accomplish in the future.  We all remember his motto of "work hard, play hard".

The journey isn't over, it is just different.  The old, seemingly trite, expression of "life goes on" is true.  We all face a different path then we had planned on, but we continue to travel on. 

Madeleine, mom, is beginning a new journey as she and a valued family friend, Mary Jo, head out for Houston, Texas this week, and then--just because-- on to New Orleans! What a wonderful adventure the two ladies will enjoy as they visit Kirk's brother and then enjoy a Jazz Festival weekend in the Big Easy. One journey may seem to end, but  in reality, it changes.  Daddy will always be on mom's journeys, he is a silent partner now. He is remembered everyday, and his influence is constant in our decisions.  It began as a sixty year journey, but the travels will go on for many years, and his memory will be with us each mile of the way.